[bt-devel] NASB Unlock Key

[Jaak Ristioja]

On 08.01.20 12:31, refdoc at gmx.net wrote:
> Jaak, maybe. Maybe I am now interpreting perfectly normal posts as aggressive. 
> And if so, I am sorry too. And yes you are right, there are plenty posts which 
> are fine, so for that wrong and exaggerated assertion I am sorry too

Apologies accepted.

> But sentences like this one :"The explanations given oftentimes seem utterly 
> stupid from my perspective."
> are aggressive and unfriendly, no matter how you turn it. You can disagree with 
> decisions, you can find explanations incomplete, unsatisfactory or ignoring your 
> points, but to call them "utterly stupid" suggests that you consider the person 
> who gave the explanations as "utterly stupid" too. Which they are manifestly 
> not. So it is an insult.
That is the wrong conclusion. Such statements have always been about my
perceptions of reality rather than reality itself, which is why I've
tried to be careful and always note that with the words "my
perspective", how "I see" things or similar. But thanks to you I now
understand that in plain text only and without means to communicate my
actual "tone" and body language it is very easy for readers not to
perceive this distinction and come to such conclusions.

I apologize if these have been insulting. I will try to correct myself,
but I need some time and reflection on that, because I've done a
terrible amount of communication like that, and finding ways out of this
habit is not straightforward.

By using such statements I have always only tried to communicate facts
about how I perceive things, keeping in mind the notion that I am
fallible. I've considered such statements to be humbly sincere and open
confessions about (the sad condition of) my inner state and not claims
to truth, let alone insults. On the contrary, I've always said so in
hopes that others would correct me in case I'm wrong, as an open-minded
invitation for them to do so, thereby even accepting the risk that such
opening up might bring me shame.

I'm sorry.

Thank you Peter for helping uncover this issue!

Anybody feel free to elaborate or advise more on this privately off-list
if you want, including your hurts. Lets kill this thread.


Yours,
J


PS: Sorry Peter if you receive this twice because I accidentaly didn't
reply to the list.